Friday, February 4, 2011

Deep Thoughts by Danielle

I've been having trouble finding inspiration for posts lately.  I read other posts and find myself nodding in agreement or pondering the given topic but it's never enough to make me write an entire post.  So as to not neglect my darling little blog and my faithful readers (you are all so lovely), I thought I'd just do a compilation of all my thoughts.

- I spoke too soon a couple posts ago when I said I was thankful the "no" phase had ended.  Lesson learned:  parents should never brag about their child's behavior because it can change at the drop of a hat.  Colin has been a little spicy, to quote a friend.  I found a blog that is written by a mother with great scholastic credentials called, Not Just Cute.  She has written an e-book about parenting with positive guidance.  Her blog has a wealth of information that I wanted to try to absorb before launching into the book (remember, I'm not a reader).  She writes in an easy to read format and has a lot of great ideas.  As I read, I found myself wanting to read more and more so I could be the best parent I could be.

Parenting is frustrating to say the least.  There's a lot of beating yourself up that goes on when your child acts out.  Wes and I wonder what we're doing wrong to illicit this type of behavior.  There's some soul searching but more importantly, there's a lot of learning.

After reading for a while, I determined Colin hits because of a lack of social skills.  That's the easy part.  Now I have to teach him those skills.  That's the hard part.  She gives examples, they make sense, but it's going to take a while for them to soak in for him.  After one weekend (2 whole days) of trying to adapt her positive approach, I was exhausted!  I wanted to give up.  I felt inadequate.  I didn't think I could break down Colin's walls and I was ready to declare him the winner.

It's amazing what a little time away can do for clearing your mind.  Going back to work on Monday was just the recharge I needed to get back on board.  I can't say I've seen any improvement but then again, I didn't expect this to be an overnight success.  She speaks a lot on feelings and trying to teach children how to feel and how to express what they're feeling.  Since neither Wes, nor I, are great at this, this is a learning process for all of us.  I figure if any one of us grows even a little, this will not be in vain.

Colin has started expressing his feelings more.  I've heard a lot of "I'm angry!"  Usually he's using it in the correct context but I think it's also becoming a bit of a cop-out for him when he doesn't know what else to say to explain his actions.  He's also a pleaser and tries to guess what he thinks you want to hear.  He's also a lover though and each and every time he says, "Mommy, I love you" it somehow makes this whole parenting process worthwhile!

To end on a funny note, I'll share a couple funnies. 

He came in one morning this weekend (at 6:30!) with not 1, but 6 shirts on.  He told Wes he "accidentally" put them all on.  Hmm, I think we need to work on the definition of accidentally.

He's learned a new phrase that he used on me last night, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"  I think I threw him for a loop when I asked what he was thinking. 

Lastly, one night after having a rough night, he told me that he didn't love me.  Now as hurtful as that is, I understand that he didn't really know what he was saying and most kids go through this.  Wes asked him about it as he was tucking him in and he said, "I guess that's just the way God made me."  How do you respond to that?! 

So much for my other thoughts.  At least this will give me something to grow on.


  1. I did the same thing - after a week of Pierce being as sweet as pie I bragged and prob two days later he was back to being spicy. Sigh. Well, take it while you've got it!

    Pierce needs a LOT of attention to not be acting out. I mean - like almost all day. Needless to say, that can't happen all the time but I do what I can.

    So neat that you found a parenting blog to help you!

    PS - the 6 shirts cracked me up

    PPS - When Pierce says he doesn't love me I guess I'm too tired to mind - I know he doesn't really mean it or he's just mad at the time.

  2. Good to know about that parenting blog - I'm always looking for good resources. I'm there with you on so many levels. Gpod parenting is hard work and it's exausting. But, you'll see the fruits of your labor before you know it. If only all parents worked so hard at it! Have a good weekend!