Monday, February 1, 2010

Seeking Motherly Advice

Ah, the terrible two's. Silly me, I thought we had potentially escaped the dreaded phenomenon but alas, I was clearly wrong. I realize this milestone affects each child differently but I can't help but to think some of you may have been in my shoes before and may have some motherly advice for me that perhaps I haven't thought of. Even if you're not a mother, I'll gladly take your advice. Maybe just an outsider can see something I'm missing and I'll gladly take any suggestions you throw my way.

Let me paint the picture for you. It involves a lot of "no" and "I won't" no matter what the question. Just a general defiance but particularly the use of NO. I am so tired of that word, I could scream. I've tried to refrain from using it myself, thinking that kids this age are mocking birds but that hasn't seemed to have an impact. Tonight I thought I would attempt another bargaining power, I pleaded with him that we (daddy, mommy, and him) would all quit saying no and if any of us did, we'd have to go to the "uh-oh" box (timeout). That seemed to have some effect, that is until I told him to go tell Daddy and he said, "Mommy said NO!" Hm, maybe he didn't quite understand.

We've thought perhaps it was the antibiotic he is on, maybe he's tired, hungry, bored, but we've taken almost all of those situations (except the antibiotic) out of the equation and he still barks no at virtually everything. Sometimes are worse than others but in a given 10 minute period, he's bound to say it at least once, 10 times if he's on a roll. We don't laugh, we never has. He doesn't think it's funny either.

Argh, what is he doing and how do I stop it?! Someone please come to the rescue of my sanity and solve this mystery. I know many have crossed this bridge before but I'm at the point where I don't think I can cross the bridge without a life preserver (for me AND Colin!).


  1. Oh boy...I wish I had advice but you know I don't since we are only a few months away from the "terrible twos." I'll be interested to see what advice you get. I'm having my own problems at the moment - Alexandra is repeating everything, and I mean EVERYTHING we say! I slipped and said shit earlier today and all I heard for the next few minutes was this sweet little voice chirp, "shit! shit! shit!". Sign me up for the mom of the year award! Oh, and I'll call tomorrow to get reservations on the 27th! Hope you're feeling better!

  2. Oh, I've been right where you are!! Bailey went through a phase where that was ALL she said. She loved the word, we hated it. I don't know how helpful this will be, since it sounds like you're already doing this...but we just consistently did time outs for this. Every time she would tell us no, she went to time out. We would explain to her why she there and that if she would stop saying that word that she would stop going to time out. It took a while, but I guess it sank in. Or she just outgrew it. I'm not sure. It will get better!!

  3. Does it make you feel better if I say that it's just a phase? Probably not!

    Pierce is constantly cycling through phases and what's worse is that a terrible one seems to come right after one where he's been so sweet. I'm like - where is the middle ground?!

    I agree on the time outs. I've sent Pierce to time out 6 times in a day. And he doesn't like time out so I feel like eventually he gets the idea of what's going on.

    Colin is starting to get older, would it be appropriate to take away something else - a show he watches, a toy, playtime, etc. Pierce doesn't quite get that concept yet but Gavin does - I guess it depends on the child.

  4. HI! I was sort of blog surfing through MMB and thought I'd stop by. I hope you don't mind.

    I had to laugh. I remember this so well. And I have to agree with everyone else. Its a phase. They grow put of it and into something else. (honestly, I think 3 is almost worse than 2!) They seem to go through bouts of assertion.

    Hang in there!! And good luck!


  5. I totally agree with Serene - 3 is worse than 2, but that doesn't help you right now.

    I don't know if I have any advice either. Will he still do what you say after he's said no? Or does no always mean he's being defiant? I had trouble with my first one screaming at about 18 mos, and biting about 20 months or so ... people told me I would know the difference between a phase and defiance, and I didn't really believe them until I saw it happen. There was one time when it was CLEAR that he was biting out of anger and not because of anything developmental. It's so much easier when I know for sure they're being defiant - I know without a doubt how to respond to defiance (we use time-out too, and as our kids have gotten old enough to understand we've put their toys in time-out, and that has really worked well for us), but when it's just a developmental phase it's harder to know how to respond.

    Thanks for stopping by my blog! And congratulations on your pregnancy. How far along are you?