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Thursday, December 3, 2009

I'm not perfect

But I am very much a perfectionist. It's both a curse and an asset. I've accomplished a lot because of this personality trait but it isn't always easy. Being a perfectionist means that nothing can be done halfway, nothing is impossible, and everything you do must be performed at 110%.

Like I said, I am who I am today in part because of this trait. However, adding things to the mix create serious issues - say, perhaps a child! One of the toughest obstacles for me becoming a parent has been trying to deal with my perfectionism. Let me attempt to explain and let me also clarify that I, by no means, am implying that becoming a parent hasn't been the best decision of my life! Being a perfectionist meant that I always had all my i's dotted and t's crossed, every list was checked and double checked, and any free moment I had was used to plan my next venture. I had time to decorate my house, scrapbook, shop to the point where I knew the inventory in way too many stores, cook as much and as often as I wanted, attend functions with friends, travel, and sleep as much as I wanted. Plus, I had time to devote my full attention to each of those activities until it was deemed perfect by me.

Things are different now. The initial problem was finding a balance between the "me" time and the "mom" time. At first, like a typical perfectionist, I jumped in head first to becoming the best mom I could. Every waking moment (and there were a lot of them) was spent glued to the baby. After some sole searching, I realized I needed some sort of release, something for me to get my creative juices flowing, something to help keep my sanity. The problem was even though I had added responsibilities, I couldn't find a way to add any more than 24 hours in a day. It took me a long time to find the balance and I'm still not there but I'm getting better. I now use my time a little more wisely and do my scrapbooking during naps, as I read blogs I plan my weekly menu, and most importantly, I've relegated some of the household tasks that I so desperately clung to. Honestly, I think the trick was to let a fraction of my perfectionism go out the window - that's on ongoing battle but it is getting easier.

So if you're like me and feel there aren't enough hours in the day, take a step back to determine what is absolutely necessary and try to let the rest go. Lists are your friend and multi-tasking is essential. With that said, the holidays are a hectic time and I wanted to provide some explanation as to why I may not be posting as much over the next month or so. I'm still here, I'm just trying to get everything checked off my list. This blog is something else I have to find time for and lately it's been cutting into my sleep time - no one cuts into my sleep! Hang in there, I'll be back.


8 comments:

  1. Yay for you!!! I am also a perfectionist and just recently I've had the same thoughts as you. The other day I found myself trying to read through magazines and I thought - why? I don't have time for this right now! I will just stack them up and read them when I DO have some time. See - total BFFs.

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  2. i am the same way as wanting everything to be perfect. I think becoming a parent has forced me to change that and just roll with the punches.....and I've found that the less I blog the more I get done:)

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  3. I'm a bit of a perfectionist too, although I've gotten more relaxed about things as I've gotten older.

    Glad you had a great Thanksgiving and I hope you enjoy the holiday season!

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  4. While I'm not a perfectionist, I know how hard it is to find time for both "me" and "mommy" time. I had a really hard time ever going out and doing the things I wanted to do because I felt guilty for taking time away from Bailey. As I'm slowly getting better about this, I'm realizing that I'm a much better mom when I have some time to myself.

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  5. i think most moms can relate to what you're saying even if they are or are not a perfectionist... i personally would probably consider myself more of a pleaser than a perfectionist -you know the kind of person who tries to please everyone (and do everything for everyone else) to make others happy or at least do my best to try to -that would be me. i like the "simple life" books -they keep me in perspective some times (i should probably re-read one now). hope you get everything done (that's important to you)- sometimes we need a reality check to remember what those things are...

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  6. Just found your blog randomly. Have to say I enjoyed this post. As I think of how life would change when my husband and I start a family I wonder how I will deal with this trait in myself.

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  7. I think I was born "behind"... seriously. I went on the the whole "12 weeks to a peaceful christmas" thing... I am still behind.. oh well... I give up! LOL Where's the Mt. Dew... I am going to need it to get everything in my house ready for Christmas!

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