Rachael Ray, I am not!

I hate to disappoint everyone but apparently I won't be the next Food Network star - well not without some more cutting skills! After reading Kitchen Confidential, my thoughtful husband thought he would expand my chef skills and get me some super duper knife that Tom Colicchio swears by. For those of you who are not aware of Tom, he's one of the judges on the reality show Top Chef and he also owns several of his own restaurants. I could go on with his credentials, but you get the point. Back to this knife...Wes had to order it online because he couldn't find anywhere around here that sold that brand. Like a typical male, he didn't place the order until 4 days before Christmas. Needless to say, it didn't arrive in time for Christmas. As a matter of fact, he had to send a somewhat stern email to the company after not receiving it for almost 2 weeks. He was so excited when it came. I was too because as much hype as he had given to this gift, I thought it was bound to be something spectacular. You can imagine my surprise when I open the fairly large box to find a knife! Whoopee! I had to look past the awkwardness and appreciate the thought. He knows how much I love to cook and my desire to be a "Top Chef". With that in mind, I thought the gift was great. After it had laid on the counter for several days, I thought I should probably wash the thing and put it to use before Wes got his feelings hurt. So off I go. First I chopped some celery and some carrots. It worked pretty well so I thought this would be a good time to try to master my knife skills and try something I always see the TV chefs do - slice an onion horizontally before cutting it vertically. Well 2 slices in and I got to feel for myself just how sharp the knife was! Yes, right across my left thumb. I immediately put my hand under water and tried to apply pressure. Wes ran up to get me a band aid. Well to make a long story somewhat shorter, after an hour of applying pressure, holding my hand above my head, putting a band aid on it, it still wouldn't quit bleeding. Of course Colin had a major tummy ache and was screaming his head off! It was about time for him to eat so that meant Wes couldn't leave. I call my always-there-for-me-Mother and she comes to take me to the Urgent Treatment Center while Wes feeds Colin. Again, I'll spare all the details but they had to stitch my finger. Here's the best part, I let them do it without any pain meds! I guess child birth has made me a new woman - this coming from the girl who couldn't even listen to someone talk about anything medical without getting light headed! Of course I couldn't get away that easy, because it was a knife I cut myself with I had to also get a tetanus shot. The shot itself didn't hurt at all, it was that venom they injected into my super-sized muscle. So that's it, that was my Sunday afternoon. For those of you that are wondering, yes I did finish cutting the onion and I did finish cooking dinner. The meal was actually quite tasty. I have learned to appreciate each of my 10 digits. I've also learned it's not necessary to cut an onion fancy, my old way is just fine and causes a lot less pain and agony.